Dancing on Disappointment

We’ve all been there. In that moment where we start to sink deep within ourselves as disappointment tries to settle in. Maybe you messed up, maybe someone else let you down, or maybe you tried your best, yet feel like you fell short. There are so many reasons that we face disappointment and situations can often turn out different than we expected or hoped for; the question is what do we do as believers when we face those feelings?

Recently, I was faced with a situation that was disappointing to me. I was frustrated with myself and the circumstances but with lots of help from G-d and my family, I was able to move on. However, the experience got me thinking about how believers can handle disappointment gracefully and in a godly manner. Here are a few tips.

Ultimately, there is no reason to be disappointed.

What!!?!! I know, I know, I’ve lost my mind (mwhahaha – just kidding). Allow me to explain myself. As believers we have everything we need in G-d, Yeshua (Jesus), and the Ruach (Holy Spirit). In 2 Kefa (Peter) 1:3  it says, “We have everything we need to live a life that pleases God. It was all given to us by God’s own power, when we learned he had invited us to share in his wonderful goodness.” Did you see what it said, yeah right, there!! Me and you, the both of us, have everything we need.

I repeat we have everything we need!!! What a revelation, I mean I don’t know about you, but this is something I have to remind myself of. The verse doesn’t say we have some of the things we need, or even three quarters of what we need. G-d says that we have absolutely everything we need for life in Him. Then on top of that, just because He is so good, He shares His goodness with us. That sounds like an amazing undeserved gift on our part.  While we obviously will still struggle with feelings of disappointment, we have to remind ourselves that we are extremely blessed because we have been called from darkness into G-d’s glorious light and He provides us with more than we could ever need, ask for, and definitely more than we could ever deserve. When we keep this in mind, is there really any reason to be disappointed?

Put it in perspective.

This is a big one for me as I struggle with being easily emotional and the little things bother me, I mean WAY too much. Really, too much. Now maybe you don’t struggle the same way I do, but this is still a good step. You have probably heard of that tip, to walk away when you’re upset and count. The point of that trick is to remove yourself from the situation so you can respond and not react. The same principle applies here. By putting your situation and disappointment into perspective you are removing yourself from the current situation and stepping back from your emotions so that you can respond in a way that is godly and healthy. If not, you may react which can easily lead to overreacting and it may mean that we are letting our emotions control us. My mom would remind me that emotions are from G-d and there is nothing wrong with feeling something but it is what we do with those emotions; she would say that we have to control them and not the other way around. What does all of this mean? As a wise person once said, acknowledge your feelings and then move on. How, by putting it in perspective. For example, maybe you missed an event that happens once a year. Not ideal but you can make it next year. Maybe your plans with a friend fell through, make new plans and if your friend is not available, make plans with family. I use these as examples to point out that most things have a “solution” or rather a way to make the best out of what feels like the worst.

Plan for next time.

In the past 6 months there a have been two situations where I was disappointed and frustrated not only at the situation, but at myself. One thing that made me feel better was planning for the next time I encounter those situations again. This helped me a lot because one of the most frustrating things about a disappointing situation is that there is nothing I can do to change it. Time machines haven’t been invented yet so I can’t step back into time and prevent myself from experiencing disappointment, and realistically that wouldn’t be healthy. However, I can plan for the future. In the previously mentioned situations, I felt that some of my emotional mess (oy vey) could have been avoided if I had been better prepared or had gone outside of my comfort zone. So, what I am going to do for the next time? I am going to prepare and force myself outside of the comfort zone, easier said then done, but having these plans helped to alleviate some of the in-the-moment pain disappointment can bring.

In the end, we will be faced with disappointments in life, both big and small. Through these times we can look to G-d for joy and strength. Of course, we should implement practical measures to help in those times, but to make it through with a joyful heart we must reach out to the source of all joy. There is a song (Heroes performed by Amanda Cook) that talks about how in G-d that we can dance upon disappointment. I think it is pretty safe to assume that dancing on disappointment doesn’t just happen, and that we can only dance through it when we hold on to G-d. The good thing is He is right there reaching out to us. Maybe you have already done everything you can to move on from a big disappointment, and you are left wondering why you are still hurting? Give it time and keep coming to G-d, and before you know it, the wound becomes a scar. I pray that you won’t need this article any time soon, but if you do, I pray that G-d help you through to the other side.